Tha Half Blood Prince and Harry Potter
by Author Name Changed
Summary: Harry Potter teams up with the Half-Blood Prince and together, they try to fight Voldemort! But who is the Prince? Well, he’s powerful! He’s really smart! He’s a real hunter! And he’s… orange, fluffy and ugly! Everybody, meet Crookshanks!
1. Chapter 1

The Half-Blood Prince and Harry Potter

Disclaimer: As fun as that would be, I don't own anybody in HP Universe ;-)

Summary: Harry Potter teams up with the Half-Blood Prince and together, they try to fight Voldemort! But who is the Prince? Well, he's powerful! He's really smart! He's a real hunter! And he's... orange, fluffy and ugly! Everybody, meet Crookshanks!

AN: Oh, well, I just _had_ to get some of my insanity out of the system, no?

Chapter 1

many years before

The King of kneazles was eagerly awaiting the great Queen of Cats in his private castle in the forest. Old Ramana, wasn't she a wonderful cat-lady? Of course, he'd never tell his own Queen that he fancied the Queen of Cats, she'd have him castrated!

Ah, and here she was, proudly entering his humble castle walking just as elegantly as ever, wearing a wonderfully-looking catsuit.

"Welcome, welcome, Ramana" he purred. "I'm so glad you could join us"

"Ah, I'm very glad to be here" the brownish cat replied like a true noble. In fact, the King had noticed a long time ago that cats were always noble, even if they lived –just like his dearest Ramana- on the streets.

"Which is the very important news you had for me?" he asked.

"Oh, sweet Ravalar" she said slowly, in a purr and jumped to his throne. "I am afraid... that I am carrying your kittens!"

"What?" the King said. "No! This cannot be!"

"Oh, but it is" she said and two tears fell down his cheeks. "I will give birth to them soon... I think there are two of them"

"Oh, my" the King said slowly. "What should we do?"

"I know!" she replied slowly. "Oh, sweet Ravalar... I will go away for awhile... Nobody needs to know that you are their father, isn't that right? And then, I could say that I had them with one of my servants"

"But they will see!" Ravalar said, his voice full of sadness. "They will see that they are not fully cats, but also part kneazles!"

"With one of your servants, then!" she cried. "One of yours! I'll say he died hit by a car after we... Before my kittens were born! I must go now... Take care, love"

She gently kissed him on the cheek and left, her kitten heels slowly padding on his stone floor.

"Take care! Of yourself... and of our kittens!" he cried behind her. "Take care! Take care!"

And so, the Queen of Cats left the castle of the Royal kneazles.

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"YOUR kittens!" the Queen of kneazles cried towards her husband. "YOUR KITTENS! How dare you, you insufferable git!"

"Yvonne, Yvonne, please..." Ravalar said. "Be reasonable!"

"Ah! You... You cheated on me!" she said and tears rolled down her cheeks. With a _cat_!"

"But please... Yvonne, love you" he whispered.

"No more! No more do I want to hear you say such words to me. I despise you!" she cried. "I shall not say a word to none, if you promise... to do the same and... to never let those... _kittens_ of yours enter the castle!"

"Very well, I swear!" Ravalar said and Yvonne ran out of his room. He collapsed on his majestic pillow and, after much thinking, he slipped into a catnap... That was the greatest mistake of his life.

Yvonne was no kneazle likely to forget such an offense. After she had listened to his talking to Ramana, she had already forged a plan. His cheating with the Queen meant treachery towards her and of course, treachery towards any member of the royal families was rewarded with _death_. Death be it then.

After leaving his rooms in a rage, she managed to find a wolf she had befriended a long time before and got him to kill the King... Soon enough, there was panic in the castle as they found the body of the kneazle lying on his pillow, full of blood and dead. There was sign of struggle, but some had seen a wolf enter the place... It must have been his fault! Yvonne became ultimate Queen of kneazles

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Ramana gave birth to her kittens on the streets of London. She realized she had a by and a girl and she was happy to see that they were both cute... She was dust-colored and he was reddish. Oh, how beautiful her kittens were!

She returned to her lover's castle, but there she was greeted by an angry Yvonne that basically told her to leave forever and never to speak to kneazles again.

She returned to London with her kittens, but soon the girl was kidnapped by a horrible man that saw in her the cat he had always wanted. Of course, she had not seemed to be any bit kneazle to him. After all, she looked rather like a very ugly cat by now, her beauty as a small kitten had disappeared...

And the second disaster struck after a few years when he was kidnapped by a witch from Diagon Alley that had a pet shop. And after a long time, he was finally bought by a very specific Hermione Granger


	2. Chapter 2

The Half-Blood Prince and Harry Potter

Disclaimer: As fun as that would be, I don't own anybody in HP Universe ;-)

Summary: Harry Potter teams up with the Half-Blood Prince and together, they try to fight Voldemort! But who is the Prince? Well, he's powerful! He's really smart! He's a real hunter! And he's... orange, fluffy and ugly! Everybody, meet Crookshanks!

Author: zimagesto

AN: I'm mad and don't you just love it?

Chapter 2

The corridors of Hogwarts were dark and gloomy, as usual after dark. One specific half cat half kneazle was walking up and down, looking for any signs of trouble.

In his walk, he noticed a shadow on one of the walls and walked carefully towards her. No use in yelling, just in case it was McGonagall. But when he made it to her, he recognized her and meowed in hello.

"Hello, sis" he said with fondness.

"Brother" the sand colored cat said, while nodding her hellos.

"Aren't we beautiful today" he said with a cat smirk.

"Meow!" she hissed. "Mum should have been told that half cat-half kneazles tend to look horrible"

"Ah, we're beautiful, in our own way" Crookshanks replied carelessly.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately?" she hissed.

"Filch loves ya, he thinks you're beautiful" he replied. "Remember, Norris?"

"Meow" she said slowly. "If he wouldn't call me _Mrs._ Norris, I'd be more happy."

"But my name is Crookshanks" he replied with a somewhat sour look. "A mouthful, as you can see"

"It's better than being called _Mornenger_, isn't it?" she said with a small laugh.

"And _Molovorska_" he also laughed. "Do you think Father would have agreed with our names?"

"He's dead, we don't know" she replied with a smirk. "And Yvonne rules, as you could hear from your fellow strays"

"I'm really sorry we couldn't see our mother..." Crookshanks said. "It's been years"

"Look who's talking!" she meowed. "I've been trapped here and forced to pretend to be on Filch's side for far longer than you remember!"

"But you know nearly everything about the castle" he pointed out. "That's always a plus"

"Well" she said with a small shake of her head. "So much good that did me. I was petrified by the King Snake a while ago, you know"

"That wasn't your fault" he told her pleasantly. "Anyone could have had the same problem"

A small mouse passed them and Norris jumped at it, catching it between her paws.

"And what do we have here?" she asked with true cat cruelty towards food.

"Norris, stop playing with your food!" Crookshanks kidded.

"I'll do whatever I wish..." she replied maliciously.

"Don't hurt me, don't hurt me!" the mouse squeaked.

"Or what?" Norris asked, showing her pointy teeth.

"Or you'll miss the news I hold!" he said terrified.

"News? What importance can petty little mouse news be to us? I should just eat you now" she said, opening her mouth to prove her point.

"Cat news, cat news!" he cried. "Promise me you won't hurt me and I'll tell you"

"Tell us and we'll see" Crookshanks told the small creature.

"Her Majesty, Queen Ramana of the Cats was hit by a truck yesterday and died tragically" the small creature said quickly.

Norris's eyes widened and she let go of the mouse and stood there in shock. Crookshanks was also shocked, his fur standing up.

"Are you sure?" he asked slowly.

"More than sure" the little creature squeaked and ran as Norris dropped him on the floor, the cat suddenly forgetting her lunch.

"Mama..." the cat said slowly and then burst into tears. "No, not mama!"

"Come now, Norris" Crookshanks said slowly. "Stop crying..."

"But, oh, Crooky, what shall we do now? We're orphans in this cruel, cruel world that wants to hurt us! How will we live without mamman?" the cat sobbed.

"Heads up, little sister, us half kneazles are tough and we'll manage. We'll manage sister, I promise you! We'll take care of ourselves, we'll live somehow. And don't forget, we still have each other!" Crookshans said, hugging her cat-ishly.

"Oh, boy" the mouse told himself, watching the two from behind the corner. "What a bunch of..."

"But... but that makes us the queen and king of cats, Crooky" Norris said with a soft meow. "We're the king and queen now"

"Oh, alas, what a cruel world it is... The Queen is dead. Long live the Queen!"

"Long live me!" Norris sobbed.

"Long live you!" meowed Crookshanks louder.

"Long live me!" Norris cried in despair.

"Long live you!" Crookshanks said in an even more sobbing tone. Then, the both of them started crying like babies in the middle of the corridor.

"You do know we haven't seen her in years, though, don't you?" Crookshanks said shyly a few seconds after.

"Right" Norris said. "And we're all grown up now"

"We haven't needed her to live for a long while now" her brother said.

"Too bad we haven't seen her for so long, though" she said thoughtfully.

"A pity, yes... But she stays forever in our house" he said dreamily.

"In our house? Is she a ghost?" Norris asked, frowning.

"Heart. I meant, in our heart" Crookshanks said with a small cough.

"Well... I'll go catch some mice. And then we can see what shall happen next" Norris said with an odd smile.

"Sure... take care" Crookshanks said with a cat-ish smile then turned towards the place he had come from and, after turning around the corner, he stared at me.

"What was up with all that?"

"What?" I asked.

"You know... that pathetic scene" he said, shaking his head.

"Wait, wait..." I said slowly. "Why are you talking to me? I'm the author, you're not supposed to even be aware of me"

"Oh, purr-lease" he purred. "We knew about you all along. Now, please turn all pathetic soap opera scenes into good scenes, will you?"

"Whatever" I said, rolling my eyes.

"Good" he said with a small nod of head. "Now, I'm off to the burials of my mother and then I'll see what's going on in _my_ kingdom. No more pathetic scenes."

"Fine, my Lord" I said carelessly, going back to my laptop.

"And UPDATE!" he cried.

"Jes', king for three minutes and he thinks he owes me" I say, rolling my eyes.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Thanks to: Brittney-a-t, smeagol's preciousss, Tsuetsu, Tikvah Ariel, unregistered person, Chikin Wang

Tikvah Ariel: Well, the castle-drama thing wasn't really one of my favorites either... ;-)

Unregistered person: lol. I was the one who suggested it first, and Akvar (or kingakvar) took the idea and posted it around. I asked for a disclaimer, but he wouldn't give me one. Said he'll confirm is asked, though ;-)


	3. Chapter 3

The Half-Blood Prince and Harry Potter

Disclaimer: As fun as that would be, I don't own anybody in HP Universe ;-)

Summary: Harry Potter teams up with the Half-Blood Prince and together, they try to fight Voldemort! But who is the Prince? Well, he's powerful! He's really smart! He's a real hunter! And he's… orange, fluffy and ugly! Everybody, meet Crookshanks!

Author: zimagesto

AN: I'm mad and don't you just love it?

Chapter 3

"I can't find Crookshanks!" Hermione cried desperately, throwing things at Ron. Whether she was throwing them at him because she was expecting her cat to be under them and she was searching or whether she wanted to hurt him, he couldn't tell. But it wasn't pretty.

"Calm down, Hermione, he's probably gone hunting" Harry said. "Really"

"NO!" she shrieked and turned towards Ron. "It was _you_! You hate my cat! You threw him away!"

"Um…" Ron said.

"See! You can't deny it!" she shrieked at him. Most of Gryffindor Tower was staring at them. Ron was standing in the middle of the common room, holding a lot of things in her arms and Hermione was standing next to the fireplace, holding a metal thing in her hand. Maybe the fact that she kept gesturing with it made on slightly unfazed about what she was saying. Now, if she hit him with that…

"He hasn't done anything!" Harry said from his place on the sofa. "Come on, Herm!"

"He hates that cat" she said, turning towards the green-eyed boy who gulped seeing her nearly throwing the metal thing at him. "He…"

"But he loves you!" Harry said quickly and Hermione frowned. "He wouldn't do anything that could hurt you!"

"Really?" she asked, turning towards Ron, confused. "I hadn't noticed."

Most of the common room sighed desperately. How more obvious could it have been? Hermione just stared at Ron, Ron just stared at Hermione and then, Hermione nodded slowly.

"I guess he must be out hunting, then" she said and Harry smacked his forehead. "and really, Ron, if you'd been the least bit daring and asked me out…"

With that, she left upstairs. Ron just stared after her.

"Oh, no…" he muttered slowly before Ginny walked up to him and said in a very comforting tone:

"Don't worry. You still have good shots. I'd tell you to go after her and tell her something nice and asking her out, but since you can't, you'll have to wait. Oh, and I suggest you find Crookshanks and befriend him"

Ron muttered something to himself before sighing and sitting down next to Harry.

"What are you learning?" he asked.

"The basic principles of relative physics" Harry replied shortly and fell down in admiration with the book.

"Are you mad!" Ron asked before he looked down in the book and everything dawned on him. "Ah, basic principles of relative physiques! God, I just love twin women when they're all like that…"

Harry smirked before going back to his playboy.

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Crookshanks had just slid through the Fat Lady's portrait and was about to go see his friend, Hermione, when he felt himself being picked up.

"Well, hello, you ugly little brute" he heard in a fake-pleasant voice and turned to see Hermione's friend, Ron.

"Oh, no" he mouthed. Luckily, it wasn't loud enough for the human to realize he could speak.

"You're my ticket to her heart, you know that?" the redhead asked and Crookshanks let out a desperate meow. Oh, God, he swore he'd act nice with him and recommend him to Hermione as a good boyfriend, but please, please, couldn't he _not_ touch him!

"Meow?" he said grudgingly and looked up the stairs. Oh, look! There was Hermione! Thank goodness! He started purring like a mad cat and Hermione beamed upon seeing Ron with Crookshanks.

"Oh, Ron, you're getting along with Crookshanks!"

"Yes! He's not so bad once you get used to him, really" Ron replied and the half-kneazle wondered if anybody would consider his feelings there and _put him down_.

"Meow?" he said and made to jump out of the boy's hands.

"Oh, here you go!" Ron said and put him down. Finally!

With a roll of his eyes, Crookshanks walked up towards Hermione's bedroom. One of the cats had contacted him at the funeral and he would soon become the official king of cats, as would Norris become the queen of cats.

"_Hey now, you're an all star! Get your game on, go, play! Hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get, paid!"_ he sang to himself. "CATS RULE!"

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"Through here, Norris" Crookshanks said, as they went into Hogsmeade. "Some of our subjects said they'd be meeting us in that cave on the hill"

"Sounds like fun" she replied, panting. "Filch'll go nuts when he sees I'm missing"

"Aw, come on, sis, it ain't that bad!" Crookshanks said with a grin and they went up the hill. "It's only a few hours and then we have our kingdom. And you know what? I plan on becoming king of kneazles, too"

"Good. Then we'll have two kingdoms" she replied, unimpressed. "We really should kick Yvone from here to the next world. I hate her, that snobbish idiot"

"Oh, yeah" Crookshanks replied. "Okay, ladies first!"

Norris entered the cave, Crookshanks right after her. There, in front of them, stood a black cat with white whiskers and two brownish cats, as well as about ten others who were more in the back of the room.

"Oh, hail the King and Queen of cats!" they all meowed together and one of them said, in the back, after all the others: "Yeah, them! Live!"

"You shall be crowned together in the Forbidden Forest" the black cat said in a medieval high priests' voice "in two weeks from now! May both you live!"

"Oh, hail the King and Queen of cats!" the cats chorused again. "The greatest of the cats, long may they live!"

"Even if they're half-kneazles" the same cat said, after all the others and some turned to glare at him. "Heh… oops?" They all turned back.

"Even before the crowning" the priest-ish cat said "you are allowed to give orders! Which are your first?"

"Um…" both Crookshanks and Norris said slowly before Crookshanks got an idea "One of you should tell me of our political status in the world and about our international and interbreed cooperation as well as our status in the war against Voldemort"

"Of course!" the priest-like cat said and opened his mouth, saying loudly. "The purest of the cats…"

It was then he realized he was alone. He turned towards the others and hem-hemmed a bit, before making a small gesture towards the others. With a sheepish grin, he turned back and opened his mouth again.

"The purest of the cats, the greatest of us, forever be they hailed!" all the cats said together.

"Hey, see the irony! They're _half kneazles_!" the last cat said again. The others turned towards him and meowed threateningly before two of them jumping on him. "A, meow, meeeoow, please, stop! MEOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!"

Crookshanks and Norris observed the scene with fur flying everywhere for two seconds before Norris said:

"That's so barbaric! Stop it at once!"

The cats stopped indeed and everybody turned towards the king and queen.

"Oh, hail the King and Queen of cats!" the cats chorused again. "The greatest of the cats, long may they live!"

"This will be a loooooooooooong day" Crookshanks said and Norris smiled tiredly at him.

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Replies (and thank you) to:

Alcapacien: Thanks. And unfortunately, it's one of my slow going stories… but I'll keep updating!

Tsuetsu: Thanks!

Brittney-a-t: That Crookshanks talking to me scene won't be happening again… at least I don't think so (although somebody said he liked it). And mushy scenes… Well, Crookshanks said the same, didn't he? And I must oblige my main characters ;-)


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